CHRISTIANS, when contemplating marriage, should not look around for a partner, but should intently look up, asking God Himself for his or her partner.
Marriage is of God! It is His idea. Remember, He said it is not good for a man to be alone. And so, He performed the world's first surgery, took a rib from the man and made for him a wife. Doesn't it make sense therefore that before all other callings, a man is first of all called to be a husband. This, of course, if in any given life, it is God's will for marriage. It makes all the sense in the world to ardently ask God, the inventor of marriage, for His choice of a mate. We often have not, or discover we have the wrong partner, because we failed to seek God's will and earnestly wait on Him! If this is the case, it is no reason, in and of itself, to terminate such a union. Two have become one! We just have to 'make do' with second best, otherwise the ripping and agonies of divorce will be experienced. God specializes in bringing beauty out of ashes, victory out of defeat and our foolish 'second best' choices.
To bring out the full meaning of God's mandate for marriage, it was Matthew Henry who first said, "The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, not out of his feet to be trampled on by him; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and hear his heart to be loved."
Ephesians 5:24-33 serves as a key marital passage in God's Word. Married folks need to read it regularly and discover again and again God's key watchwords for the husband and for the wife. They should ponder them and put them into practice. They do work!
Love is the man's key word, a love that selflessly gives and gives. God's kind of husband lovingly and faithfully tends to his partner through thick and thin (no pun intended). Unfortunately too many men possess a macho, 'I'm the boss,' 'serve me, I'm the king around here' attitude that tragically counters God's way. Such a man and his marriage will falter.
Submission, is the wife's term. This denotes a humble heart that respects, as much as is possible, even a flawed husband.
Locked in these words are the secrets for a successful relationship. For the man it is a love like that of Christ Himself for the Church (ponder that!). Much sacrifice is required.
For the woman, it is a submission that is a 'built-in carry-over' from Genesis where, after the fall, God said, "Yet your desire (Hb. teshuqah meaning 'longing.') will be for your husband, and he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16). Even a very strong woman, while not curtailing her God-given abilities, must maintain a spirit of acquiescence toward 'her man.'
Husband sir, don't mistakenly define love! It's a real nitty-gritty, giving, serving quality that comes from the heart but expresses itself even in the most menial matters of life. A man who thinks love is just romance and sex will struggle with what God mandates.
And, madam wife, don't fight what God has ingrained in the very DNA of every woman. You need men. You may be superior in many ways but they are physically stronger and have abilities you will never possess, let alone God's mandate as 'head chief.' Frustratingly today's women lib groups try ever so hard to bypass what God has decreed domestically, not that abuse and unfair advantage shouldn't be opposed in all areas of life. It is always amusing that some women who are very vocal about equal pay and perks nevertheless still want men to open the door for them, treat them like queens and bow to their every wish and fancy. If you insist upon absolute equality, open your own door, fix your own coffee, paint your own house, mow your own lawn and repair your own car engine.
The Amplified version brings out the deep meaning in the concluding verse of the above mentioned passage (Ephesians 5:24-33): "However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]" (Ephesians 5:33). The word in the Greek for the wife respecting and reverencing her husband is isphobeo, meaning "to put to flight, to terrify, frighten or to fear." Smile! I didn't write that, God did. It's the same fear enjoined upon us toward God. We fear Him in the sense of being awestruck and respecting him. Toward a spouse, a woman is to do this even though every man is obviously full of shortcomings and worse. Surely, there are no perfect men. But, even as God wants us to respect a political leader, even though in disagreement, so a godly wife will honor a husband, at the very least for the God-given authority place in him. At the same time a Christian husband will ever attempt to earn that submission.
The husband's word in the Greek is agapao which pertains more to an action than a feeling. It is a noble word describing Christ's love that caused Him to suffer and die for sinners. The husband is to love like that? This is the epitome of a selfless, giving, sacrificing and serving kind of love, a love supremely attentive no matter the circumstances. If a woman has a man like this, she will die to love, honor and obey him.
Both requirements for the wife and husband are carried out in day by day experience only by the power of the Holy Spirit. For Christians a supernatural enabling grace is absolutely essential to carry out these ideals. Therefore, walking closely with God or "in the Spirit" must precede expected success. God has provided the resources needed; Christians must diligently pursue them. When the spouses fall short they must humbly acknowledge such, confess the same to each other and to God, and beseech the Lord for strength to behave as He has ordered. If they do, then it won't be reported that divorce is as common in the Church as it is in the world. This is why every successful marriage is always a triangle: a man, a woman and God.
dick christen
