June 15, 2016

REPENTANCE, ESSENTIALLY A CHANGE OF MIND...


REPENTANCE, ESSENTIALLY A CHANGE OF MIND

When a surprised looking cartoon character hears something new and startling, he says, "Whoa, I need to change my mind. This is really good news!" Interestingly, what he says gets at the root meaning of the Biblical term, REPENTANCE! 

Essentially the Greek word metanoia means 'a change of mind.' Repentance should not be confused with 'conversion.' This latter term means 'a change of direction or disposition.' This too happens when a sinner is saved, but is preceded by 'a change of mind' which is wrought by the Holy Spirit. When the Holy Spirit enlightens a darkened mind, a person then understands the Gospel, experiences a change of mind concerning it, thinks differently, and now is free to truly know the saving Gospel of Jesus Christ and, believing in Him, is saved. Whereas once he rejected the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ, even scoffed at it, now, like a light bulb going on, he sees and grasps the true meaning of the story of Jesus. 

Repentance is indispensable to salvation. It is part and parcel of faith. If faith is one side of a coin, repentance is the other. Both sides make the coin. Even so, repentance and faith make for saving faith. A person understanding the Gospel is freed from misconceptions concerning it and can now, by the Holy Spirit, believe it. This 'change of mind' is the work of God and part of His matchless grace which saves sinners. Often God works by means of goodness to produce repentance. Paul so stated this in Romans 2:4 when he said, "Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?" 

On the other hand, in a time of great persecution, Peter talked about God who "raised up Jesus, whom you had put to death by hanging Him on a cross. He is the one whom God exalted to His right hand as a  Prince and a Savior, to grant repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins" (Acts 5:31,32). So, by whatever means, His goodness or His finger-pointing at our responsibility of sending Jesus to the cross, it is God who grants repentance. It is His effectual mind-changing power to make us sinners think differently. 

He did this dramatically when the ranting unbelieving Saul was on the road to Damascus. Saul (the Apostle Paul) purposed to carry out his mission of destroying Christianity. God suddenly stopped him cold, identified Himself to Saul, and miraculously gave him the gift of repentance and faith toward Jesus Christ. Saul was most learned in the Scriptures but had refused to acknowledge that Jesus of Nazareth was the promised Christ. He thoroughly knew the detailed Old Testament Scriptures that pointed to a coming Messiah. In his natural mind, brilliant though he was, he could not put the Jesus of Nazareth together with the promised Messiah. He refused to think that the earthly Jesus of his time fulfilled all those unique Old Testament predictions. Such a One was coming, but would He come from Nazareth? He did not have the discernment, or scope of understanding, to conclude that living Jesus of Nazareth was the Christ, the Son of the Living God! But God gave such insight to him! And when He did, Saul was able to immediately preached the Gospel (Acts 9:1-20). When he saw the truth he simply turned rejection into acceptance. All the concepts he knew about the coming Messiah, and which he had refused to apply to a contemporary person, he did! He went from enemy to Christianity's most noted proponent. Notice he did this 'at once.' And, he immediately proclaimed the good news that Jesus saves!

Ponder Paul's own testimony concerning all this when he wrote to the Galatians and said: "For I would have you know, brethren, that the gospel which was preached by me is not according to man. For I neither received it from man, nor was I taught it, but I received it through a revelation of Jesus Christ. For you have heard of my former manner of life in Judaism, how I used to persecute the church of God beyond measure and tried to destroy it; and I was advancing in Judaism beyond many of my contemporaries among my countrymen, being more extremely zealous for my ancestral traditions. But when God, who had set me apart even from my mother’s womb and called me through His grace, was pleased to reveal His Son in me so that I might preach Him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult with  flesh and blood, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me; but I went away to Arabia, and returned once more to Damascus. Then three years later I went up to Jerusalem to become acquainted with Cephas, and stayed with him fifteen days. But I did not see any other of the apostles except  James, the Lord’s brother. (Now in what I am writing to you, I assure you before God that I am not lying.) Then I went into the regions of Syria and Cilicia. I was still unknown by sight to the churches of Judea which were in Christ; but only, they kept hearing, 'He who once persecuted us is now preaching the faith which he once tried to destroy.' And they were glorifying God because of me" (Galatians 1:11-24).

Why this detailed testimony?

Because repentance, a change of mind, immediately turned his thinking around. From rejection Paul now believed. From seethingly hating Christians, he willingly joined them and became the great proponent of the faith, the Apostle Paul. He then was used of God to write so many of the New Testament epistles. As the Church's first and greatest theologian he purported the essentials of Christian doctrine. The Holy Spirit who gave him the ability to understand the Gospel proceeded and enabled him, by inspiration, to write so much of Holy Scripture. Everything he knew he at once positively and willingly applied to the One from Nazareth, who had died and rose again for the salvation of sinners. Later, when standing trial for his faith, he boldly said to King Agrippa, “So, King Agrippa, I did not prove disobedient to the heavenly vision, but kept declaring both to those of Damascus first, and also at Jerusalem and then throughout all the region of Judea, and even to the Gentiles, that they should repent and turn to God, performing deeds appropriate to repentance" (Acts 26:19-20). 

M. Unger says this, "Repentance, it is thus seen, is the gift of God (Acts 5:31; 11:18; Romans 2:4). It is so because God has given His word with its revelations concerning sin and salvation; also the Holy Spirit to impress the truth and awaken the consciences of men and lead them to repentanceBut, as with faith so with repentance--it is left to men to make for themselves the great decision." 

This is New Testament truth and believers in Jesus Christ are under orders to preach repentance and faith in the Lord Jesus. "Therefore having overlooked the times of ignorance, God is now declaring to men that all people everywhere should repent, because He has fixed a day in which He will judge  the world in righteousness through a Man whom He has appointed, having furnished proof to all men by raising Him from the dead” (Acts 17:30-31). Being saved is more than lightly agreeing with the concept that Jesus paid for my sins and so I'll believe and be saved and safe. To be genuine it Biblically entails a revamp of how I think, not  just about His saviorhood, but also about who He is, that He is Creator God, Lord of life, coming King, Messiah and therefore, right now, as I believe in Him, I submit to Him as Lord of all life, and Lord of MY life. He is MY King, my Lord and the One for Whom I will now live. The ongoing Christian life is a perfecting of all this! And so, from this moment on I will ponder the Bible, learn His mind and daily let Him alter my mind to think His way and live for His glory!

- dick d christen

June 11, 2016

GOD'S GUIDANCE FOR RAISING CHILDREN


  GOD’S GUIDANCE FOR RAISING CHILDREN
   
     Never have there been more instruction materials for raising children than in our present generation. There are books, pamphlets, handy guides, videos, series upon series of study helps, all of which are geared to hopefully instill practical know-how in parents’ minds. And this to ensure they are doing all they can to guarantee their kids’ success. Some of this is very useful; but, some proves to be just humanistic modern permissiveness turning out brats rather than respectable adults.

One newly retired grandfather, after chasing his grandkids around for an hour, complained to his wife, as he exhaustively returned home, “I’m pretty sure I left the rat race for the brat race.”

     Surprisingly, many Christian parents fill their minds with volumes of man’s writings neglecting entirely God’s mind on the subject as found in the Bible. It’s not that there isn’t good to be found in some of these extra-Biblical materials, but one would think a believer in Jesus Christ would make sure he or she really looked into the Bible first to gain wisdom from God for the task at hand. After all, God designed the human creature and breathes the breath of life into every conceived fetus (Genesis 2:7). Isn’t He the master-psychologist? Doesn’t He know everything about everyone? “O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways” (Psalms 139:1-3). Surely this God knows what makes any child tick and will give just the right wisdom to any parent who asks. Parents must keep on asking, seeking and knocking for this. It comes by prayer but also with an open Bible.

The Old Testament book of Proverbs says some very valuable things about parenting. It defines for us at least FOUR BASICS that every parent should know. These are verses worthy of memorization by every dad and mom.

Acting day by day in accordance with them may make a world of difference in the child raised.

1.  THE REAL PROBLEM WITH EVERY NEWBORN

Pointedly, Proverbs 22:15 tells us about this:
 “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.”

Notice, foolishness is “bound,” not merely “found” in the very soul of a little one. Every baby is born a sinner. The Old Testament David reflected, "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me" (Psalms 51:5). Sin is part and parcel of the very fabric of a human's being - body, soul and spirit.

In other words, that gurgling, giggling, grinning Gerber baby isn’t everything he appears to be! If we’re honest, he can at times be a mess with dirty diapers (too many times?), food all over his face, baby acne, sad birth defects and astonishingly early displays of orneriness, rebellion and seemingly intentional interruptions.

I well remember when one of my daughters was in her high chair. I told her not to touch her milk. She needed to prioritize the food rather than hastily swill the milk. But instead, she defiantly and with deliberation placed her little hand right next to the milk and glared at me. She quickly discovered that that was unacceptable behavior.

But, why? Why take child discipline seriously? Because “foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.” It’s called inherent sin! The child is born with it. As stated above, David the king knew this. He said, when agonizing later in life over his terrible sins of murder and adultery, “Behold, I was brought forth in [a state of] iniquity; my mother was sinful who conceived me [and I too am sinful]” (Psalms 51:5). Romans 5:12 informs us of this all-pervasiveness of sin with these words: “Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned…” When we read “all sinned” we need to be informed that in the Greek language this verb is an aorist tense, signifying once for all action. When Adam sinned we all sinned, he being the federal head of the human race. And so, in God's eyes we are both reckoned sinners way back when, and, by procreation, we are constituted as such when born. Talk  about a double whammy! But, this is the way it is!

This explains why beautiful little ones can be so problematic and so difficult to raise. Really, guiding a child from birth to adulthood constitutes one of the greatest challenges of life. Once a speaker conducted a successful seminar entitled “Rules for Raising Children.” After he got some children of his own, he changed the title to “Suggestions for Raising Children.” And then, when his children reached their teen-age years, he decided to discontinue the seminar altogether. It is always eye-brow raising, somewhat amusingly so, when the yet-to-be-tried young adult boldly attempts to give instruction on how to best handle that rascally child in the room.  

It’s a tough challenging job being a parent. Most of us don’t really know what we’re undertaking when we have babies. It is thrilling, fulfilling, and rewarding but also requires a long term commitment to rigorous, daily effort. I’ve always said that a good and successful mother and father must be loving drill-sergeants. Is there a military boot camp to train expectant parents? Such a course of preparation would encourage lots of love but also much readiness to put sergeant stripes on the sleeves (of both soon-to-be moms and dads), mustering up the determination to teach the newly arrived recruits, above all else, OBEDIENCE. Obedience to authority is the ‘sine qua non’ of parenting. It is absolutely essential because thereby we prepare a child to not only respect the parent, but later in life to give humble deference to teachers, employers, policemen, government itself and, ultimately, reverence to God Himself. These authorities, except for God, aren’t always right but should be respected. When there exists disagreement, it should be a respectful disagreement, even though at times necessarily straight-forward. A well-trained child will not smart-mouth a policeman. Also, he will not easily deny God. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. A heart that rightly regards all authorities and, ultimately, God Himself, is instilled within the little ones when parents insist on immediate compliance with all the propositions of parenthood.

The new-born soul does not possess humility, patience or thoughtfulness. No baby lies in his crib in the middle of the night pondering whether it would be a nice gesture to wait until seven in the morning to cry for some milk. After all, mom and dad worked hard yesterday, need their sleep, and I can hungrily wait until morning. No, no, no! The baby wants what it wants when it wants it!

At heart a new-born is essentially evil. Just as sourness is germane to a lemon and bitterness to quinine, even so sin is part and parcel of that little bundle of loveliness. It is so difficult to accept this fact when looking down at that lovely specimen of baby-hood, so cuddly and sleeping so peacefully. This is when the authority of God's Word must supersede the adoring feelings of a new mommy and daddy.

This basic understanding makes a huge difference in learning the ins and outs of parenting. If my car’s battery is bad, and I know it, I don’t leave on a long trip seemingly oblivious to the fact. No, first of all, the root problem must be addressed. When I do so the trip is enjoyed and the mind relieved. Matthew Henry remarked, “Holy joy is the oil to the wheels of our obedience.” Even so, the joys of family life are greatly enhanced when from the first we lovingly but military-like insist upon a child’s obedience. In this way the little one’s will is taught to respect the authorities of life, let alone that of the parents and let alone God Himself.

2.  THE ARDUOUS PROCESS OF RAISING CHILDREN

“Do not hold back discipline from the child,
Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die” (Proverbs 23:13).

In his paraphrase, THE MESSAGE, Eugene Peterson puts it this way: “Don't be afraid to correct your young ones; a spanking won't kill them.”

The Bible, God’s Book, approves and even includes spanking as an essential part of any process of child discipline. But, many parents hesitate to do so because too frequently modern voices disparage it. WIKIPEDIA, after a fair assessment of what spanking is, proceeds to raise doubts as to its ‘rightness.’ It says: “The main reasons parents give for spanking children are to make children more compliant, and to promote better behavior, especially to put a stop to children's aggressive behaviors. Research shows, however, that spanking, or indeed any form of corporal punishment, tends to have the opposite effect. Children who are physically punished more often tend to obey parents less with time, and to develop more aggressive behaviors, including toward other children. There are also a number of documented adverse physical, mental, and emotional effects of spanking and other forms of corporal punishment, including various physical injuries, increased anxiety, depression and antisocial behavior.”

The expression “research shows” always raises red flags in my mind. Likewise the words “a number of documented” this or that. Too frequently the sources of such research or documented evidence are missing or the studies dubious. Irresponsible authors will sometimes recklessly throw in such phrases to add credibility to what they are saying. On the other hand, even if the credited source is authentic, one may rather easily point to other research, and sometimes from surprising places, to support an opposite viewpoint.

For instance, Elizabeth Owens from the Institute of Human Development at the University of California at Berkeley, once said, “A lot of people out there advocate that any spanking at all is detrimental, and that’s not what we found.” She said this after a released study reported that “occasional, mild spankings of young children are OK and do not cause any lasting harm that carries into adolescence.” She went on to say, “We’re not advocating that this is a strategy that should be used with kids, but we object to people wanting to ban it when we see no evidence that it’s harmful.”

But, again, the real choice comes down to this: Will I believe God’s Word or man’s? God is truth and since He made us and always knows what is best for us, we must always bow to His directives first. He is our heavenly Father (parent). He wears the title of Master Parent. In His authoritative Book called the Bible, He instructs us: “Don't be afraid to correct your young ones; a spanking won't kill them.”

Let me cast a little humor on this somber subject: Johnny Hart, in the B.C. cartoon, humorously put the inclusion of spanking in any program of discipline with this corny piece of poetry: “His mother’s hand so strong and warm with tender, healing touch/ would oft reach out to still the storms which troubled him too much/ His mother’s hand, that same sweet hand, although it seemed uncanny/ could also reach out lovingly and spank his little fanny.” If the Bible is not an adequate authority on the subject, now we have Johnny Hart. I smile.

But let this important point be established: There is so much more to child discipline than spanking. Often putting a child over a knee is the last resort. Some children may need it often, others not at all. It may entail just a slap on the hand or at times some hard wallops on the behind. But discipline, in a broader sense, is a long lasting, challenging and difficult process, interestingly likened to what God, the Master parent, patiently goes through when training us.

Quoting and adapting from the Book of Proverbs, the writer of Hebrews shares this:

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved by Him; For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives" (Proverbs 3:11,12).

He then adds:


"It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness" (Hebrews 12:5-11).

"It is for discipline that you endure?" What does this signify? THE MESSAGE paraphrases this way: "God is educating you; that's why you must never drop out." I would add, we won't drop out because God is an in-control parent. He won't let us run out of the room or run to some other god for mercy. Furthermore, in the phrase I see HOPE. Discipline gives us endurance for life and contributes to one's overall achievement level in life.

Concerning His obstinate Old Testament people He said, “So the word of the Lord to them will be, ‘Order on order, order on order, line on line, line on line, a little here, a little there…’” (Isaiah 28:13). This is God’s process of training His people. The word “discipline” is an Anglo-French word meaning instruction and is closely related to “discipleship.” It pertains to bringing someone to your point of view to the end he may follow what you believe. And so, a sincere parent will soon learn that repetition is very much a part of the discipline of any child. How commonplace are phrases like: “If I said it once, I said it a hundred times.” “I have told you a million times.” “How many times do I have to tell you to….” And on and on it goes on the lips of every diligent parent. Lazy parents often lack the stamina to keep on keeping on. But endurance in tending to our children is absolutely imperative.

Why? Because we are defective, stubborn, dense creatures. (Thank the Lord for those fine-spirited little ones who seem to catch on fast.) And, it is true, is it not, that God possesses much patience in getting through to us? He has degrees of chastening, from gentle to severe. The writer of Hebrews declares, “For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives” (Hebrews 12:6). If lesser forms of discipline prove ineffective, He can employ harsher means such as scourging. 

An oft repeated word in the Bible is “listen.” This is probably why well-known Atlanta preacher, Charles Stanley, keeps interspersing it throughout his messages. It’s always difficult getting an audience to carefully consider God’s truths. The Apostle said “a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised” (1 Corinthians 2:14). And so God gives us His Spirit and ever tries to obtain our listening ears. At times He will take our chins and make us look right into His eyes to make sure He has our attention.

And again, Psalm 27:14 finds God repeating Himself, trying to teach us the foundational lesson of listening and then trusting Him. He says, “Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.” Why does He say “wait for the Lord” twice? Because we are so hard to reach. But, our heavenly Father will get through to us because, as the Apostle puts it, “He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). Thank His holy Name, He never gives up. And at moments of greatest gloom, parents must grab a nap and go at it again.

So, it is with raising children. Parents must not abscond their duty by assigning it to others. Even though at times we must delegate some tasks to other responsible persons, God clearly expects dads and mothers to primarily assume the task. He says: “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:6-9).

Again, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Here he addresses "fathers." They are to be involved to a good degree too. In fact, their leadership is paramount. They should communicate to their wives the basic principles for the disciplining process. They should study God's Word with their spouses. They should take the lead in family devotions and prayer. Yes, dads need to step up to the plate and hit home runs in this ball park of raising kids.

 Of course, and wisely, good parents may place their children under the tutelage of others more expert than they in certain fields of knowledge, but really, the great preponderance of hours allotted belongs to the parents themselves. It’s the home.

Parental influence is immeasurable. Day by day, word by word, look by look, attitude by attitude, correction by correction, comment by comment and, very importantly, example by example, builds a volume of irreplaceable instruction even though a thousand tutors are hired.

And, of course, a big part of this is talking about the Lord and telling of all His wonderful works. James Dobson wisely remarks, “In other words, it takes more than a brief, two-minute bedtime prayer, or even formalized training sessions. We must live these attitudes from morning to night. Keep in mind that this teaching task – after introducing our children to Jesus – is one of the most important assignments God has given parents.”

And the rewards are two-fold – to the children, yes, but also to the diligent parent. Marianne Neifert, MD, puts it so well: “If I hadn’t had children, I probably would have had more money and material things. I probably would have gone more places, gotten more sleep, pampered myself more. My life would have been much more boring and predictable. As a result of being a parent, I have laughed harder, cried more often, I have worried more and hurried more. I’ve had less sleep, but somehow I’ve had more fun. I’ve learned more, grown more. My heart has ached harder, and I’ve loved to a capacity beyond my imagination. I’ve given more of myself, but I’ve derived more meaning from life.” This is such a good and encouraging perspective!

And, here’s another important point: In insisting on OBEDIENCE (number one goal), the parent must expect an immediate response. No delay! Paul M. Landis puts it this way, “An animal trainer is careful never to fool his subject or to play a trick on it. This would confuse the animal he is trying to train. This is also true of children. We should never say things to our children we do not mean. If we say, ‘If you do that, I will punish you,’ then when the child does it again (perhaps right after we finished saying it), say, ‘Did you hear me?’ this only brings confusion and teaches the child we do not mean what we say. The child need not be punished often if it is punished severely enough and consistently.”

An illustration of this is found in the hot stove. It teaches the child to mind with one application or at the most, two. And the child respects the stove from then on. Now if the little child has the intelligence to learn thus from a stove and to respect it from that day on, would he not also have the intelligence to respect father and mother if they are consistent in their requirements of the child’s conduct and as severe in their punishment if the child disobeys? Is it not as simple as that? Sadly, mere sentimental love often blinds us.

Thanksgiving Day was approaching and the family had received a card picturing a Pilgrim family on their way to church. Grandma showed the card to her young grandchildren and remarked, “The Pilgrim children like going to church with their parents.” “Oh, yeah?” her grandson replied, “Then, why is the dad carrying that rifle?”
Yes, be a loving but tough-minded Pilgrim dad when raising your little ones.

3.  THE PRODUCT OF FAITHFUL PARENTING MAY BE DELIGHTSOME

“The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who sires a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her rejoice who gave birth to you” (Proverbs 23:24-25).

The word “sire” means to beget, bring forth or to bear. Scripture has already taught us that a baby is born with a sin nature. Therefore, we conclude that he or she is not born “good.” At this point, God delegates to mothers and fathers (and yes, sometimes grandmothers and grandfathers?) the task of taking such a little one and raising him in the fear and admonishment of the Lord. And, when done so, haven’t we noticed the hugely pleased look on any parent’s face when he or she informs us that their child or children are doing well? Or, when someone else glowingly commends their little one? Of course, such reports articulate one of the great achievements of life. High principles and ceaseless effort has brought it to pass.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said this: “If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it; every arrow that flies feels the attraction of earth.” How true! Because of inherent sin, in both parent and child, so much exists to drag parenting down to the depths of discouragement. Within the child himself, it just happens to be easier to do wrong than to do right. That is axiomatic. And, parents too are often well-meaning but utterly fall short.

Therefore, by God’s grace, a Christian parent takes hold of what God says by way of guiding children, does it, prays over it, keeps at it and aims high, drawing upon all that the Lord will give in order to bring up a child in the way he or she should go.

It is no easy endeavor. Like a successful athlete, dads and moms keep unceasingly at it, brushing up, learning more, doing it day after day, enduring the hardness involved, but then, like the fastest runner crossing the finish line, rejoices at each and every little triumph, let alone the big win of the grown son or daughter living responsibly and in the fear of the Lord.

We must, however, underscore this point: A parent can be a very good parent and have a child who gravely disappoints. Why? At such times we may well ask, don’t God’s principles work? Has God let us down? Or, am I really an inept person who thought I was doing right, but miserably failed? At such moments of despair, I must reason this way: God’s first children, Adam and Eve, went against their all-wise Heavenly Father. The human will can stubbornly resist even the wisest of instruction and the best of environments. “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”

Disobedience, but deeper still, rebellion or utter disregard in a youngster’s heart can doom such a one. “Even a child is known by his acts, whether [or not] what he does is pure and right” (Proverbs 20:11). He or she may well lash out at a perfectly well meaning parent and refuse to obediently respond. Hopefully, the parent hasn’t provoked such a one to anger. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”  (Ephesians 6:4). We do this by over-stringency and unnecessary strictness or insecure helicopter parenting. But, if not, even so the human heart has all the capacity of an Adam and Eve to ego-centrically and stubbornly reject even perfect parenting. Think of the fallen angels, all of whom in  disobedience were cast from the presence of God, ending up in utter failure as evil demons, miserable themselves and causing untold agony to others. And they had enjoyed all the bliss and perfection of heaven.

Notice in the text above the appeal to the offspring’s will. “Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her rejoice who gave birth to you.” In other words, your parents are trying their hardest, now do your best to comply and “let” them be glad and rejoice. Many an excellent parent suffers untold anguish of heart because an offspring rebels. And, as the Bible points out, rebellion is worse than witchcraft.
There are far too many adults who were brought up in Christian homes and fine churches, who early on rejected the ways of the Lord and then spend a lifetime living apart from God missing out on all He intended for them. Certainly in all Christian homes and churches there are imperfections and shortcomings. Yes there are, but a favorite ploy of the rebellious one is to use such failures as excuses to stubbornly do his own thing. God is wise to such machinations of the soul and we must be too. Too many sincere parents unnecessarily carry a burden of guilt when their children turn against or ignore God.

4. FINALLY, PARENTING ENTAILS PROFOUND ETERNAL IMPLICATIONS

God says that by the wise discipline of a child you will “rescue his soul from Sheol” (Proverbs 23:14).

Today’s parents are rightly concerned about their childrens’ eventual success in life. Of course. We all want our kids to grow up and do well. And, knowing the numerous and dangerous pitfalls in life, we, as Christian mothers and dads, pour our hearts out to God in their behalf. Often, however, our pleas God-ward merely pertain to the necessities of this life. We give scant attention to the spiritual let alone the 'forever' existence of any human.

But, in the final analysis this life is a passing shadow. Or, as the song writer puts it: “Life at best is very brief, like the falling of a leaf.” We should enjoy the colorful wafting downwards of a leaf in autumn time, but must also remember that a day comes when all leaves are gathered up and tossed away. And so, beholding a child, we must ask, "when this life is over, what then?" Child instruction necessarily instructs them how to live this life but must also inform them how to be prepared for the endless hereafter. We ought to be very burdened as to whether they will go to heaven or hell when they die. The Bible clearly spells out these two destinations and these two only.

Unless we have experienced it firsthandedly, we sometimes subconsciously conclude that children and young people are immune to death. Oh, it's in the back of our minds, but, could it ever happen to us?

Yes, it most assuredly can, and so we must  keep before us that death is no respecter of persons. My child's earthly sojourn may be cut short. And if so, he or she will end up either in a place of endless torment or the promised paradise of interminable delight. The Bible says so! At a certain point an age of accountability kicks in, differing in different children, and it may be sooner than we realize. 

Young children get wiped out in automobile accidents and are ever subject to severe illnesses. This all adds up to the imperative conclusion that God’s overseers of the young must share the Gospel with them, early in life.

Listen to Holy Scripture: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever (put your child's name here) believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him” (John 3:16-17).

The promise is marvelous! Christ died for all! He paid the for our sins. Because He did, we don't have to and couldn't if we wanted to. Our children need to have this explained to them in the simplest of terms.

When I was a young father and also dealing with youngsters through more than a half century of pastoring, I often put it this way: Supposing you did something real naughty. In fact, it was downright terrible. Your dad or mother had warned that if you did so, you'd get walloped good and hard. Now, you've been caught and it's payday. Just as you are being put over the knee, your big brother steps up and says, "I'll take his spanking for him." At this point the child usually says, "My brother? He'd never do that for me. He'd probably stand there smiling all the while I'm screaming." So, I say, uh, we're pretending here. And to continue, your brother actually does take you place and timidly you look on and see his hurt and hear his whimpering. Well, it's something like that when Jesus died on the cross, taking your punishment for you. He suffered in an indescribable way, just for you! He paid the price you owe for your sin. His death and resurrection satisfied the Heavenly Father who cannot tolerate sin of any sort. He sent Jesus for you! Now, do you appreciate what your brother did for you? And what about what Jesus did for you?

Now, here is what it means to believe in Jesus Christ as your own personal Savior from sin. At this point the parent should repeat John 3:16 explaining in easy-to-understand language how marvelous is God's love to see your need, to send His only Son to pay for your sin. God had to do this to satisfy His own sense of justice. Sin had to be dealt with. Jesus did that for you! And believing in Jesus isn't the same as just believing about Him. It is to trust fully in Him thereby committing the saving of your soul to Him. It is like crossing a bridge. You can know all about the bridge but refuse to cross it because you don't think it'll hold you up. I can tell you all about the bridge, explaining all the engineering techniques and expertise that goes into building a bridge, but until you believe in it, you'll not commit yourself to it and actually go across. So, believing in Jesus is to believe in Him committing yourself to His Lordship in your life. He is both Lord and Savior. The Bible declares, "that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved" (Romans 10:9).

Being saved is obeying the Gospel appeal (2 Thessalonians 1:8). God tells us how to be saved from our sin; we must respond obediently by calling on the Name of the Lord. "Whosoever will call on the Name of the Lord will be saved (Romans 10:13). Instruct the youngster how to pray, make sure he means it and isn't just doing so because his friend or friends are, and let himl pray. He may be able to do so on his own, or repeat what you say. Tell him to tell someone what he did. 

Therefore, the gist of what we are saying is this: Obedience is key. It produces a delightful offspring, and is key to my child becoming a child of God. And so, God fearing parents insist that a child obeys, because, it prepares him for the necessary submission to the authorities of life, and, ultimately, to the supremacy of God Himself.

Too many parents underrate the essentiality of obedience. Children early on must know that immediate obedience is required. One exasperated father asked his son if he understood the meaning of the word “obey.”  The boy said, “Yeah, it’s a place to go shopping on the internet.” Hmmmm!

A well-disciplined and obedient child is a happier child. We sing at church, “Trust and obey for there’s no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.” And that is so true! And what is applicable to the spiritual life is true of all of life.

In speaking of the need for criminals to comply with the law, Donald G. Smith in the FREEMAN remarked: “The professional criminal is a volunteer. All that society asks of him is that he stop doing what he is doing, and this doesn’t seem to be an unreasonable request. It isn’t a great exaggeration to say that every man, woman and child in the United States is capable of not stripping a car, not selling drugs, not vandalizing property and not robbing a store. No one is asking the lawbreaker to run a four-minute mile, to translate the Dead Sea Scrolls, or to play a fugue on the harpsichord. Obeying the law requires no talent and no training. Anyone can do it.”

But, given the weakened and sinful human nature, it DOES require much arduous training. And, that’s where God’s words of wisdom in Proverbs are so applicable. Dear parent, meditate on these four principle verses.  Memorize them. Jot them on 3X5 cards and carry them with you. Go over them again and again lodging them in the heart and mind. Put them into daily action when teaching children to live lives pleasing to God and to society as well.

Martha Snell Nicholson penned this delightful poem:
     The older I grow, the more I find
          That the happiest children are those
           Who mind,
     Who know that someone cares for their
           Good
      Enough to make them do as they should.

      And we, the adopted children of God,
           Can rejoice if the Lord spares not the
           Rod,
      But leads with a firm directive hand
           The way that He in His wisdom planned.

Matthew Henry said, “Love is the root, obedience is the fruit.” In parenting, tough love is the primary root of all forms of child discipline; and obedience, the primary fruit for which we look in our growing children.

-       Dick D. Christen

June 01, 2016

WHAT? I'M IDENTIFYING AS THE OPPOSITE SEX?


WHAT?  I, A MALE, AM IDENTIFYING AS A FEMALE?

What’s all this commotion about being a man biologically but “feeling” like a female? Or, by sight I’m a woman but I identify as a man? Let me ask this: In life is it wise to determine right and wrong on the basis of "feelings?" Don’t we usually gather facts and then draw conclusions?  

     Nowadays it seems fashionable to let mere emotion or "feelings" determine truth. But isn’t this contrary to all the world of science has been telling us for years?  Hasn't it made a god out of demanding that observable data is a non-negotiable necessity in establishing truth? There was a time when the Bible served as one such objective standard for truth. It was believed that God had spoken. What He said to the prophets and apostles of old was written down under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. The Bible was accepted as the very Word of God. And the curious wanted to know what God had to say about any given subject. The Bible was seriously searched. But, sad to say, man generally has rejected such an approach in deciding life’s questions. If there is no certain scientific evidence he now runs on "feelings" or whatever is pragmatically favorable. Strangely, nowadays this seems alright, especially if I need my purposes established.

      But, consider this: If I am bald do I let feelings dictate whether it is so, or not? No, if I’m bald, I’m bald. I see it in the mirror and the fact is established! May I ignore my totally shining head and demand a haircut, telling the hair stylist that in a dream I had a full head of hair and now I wanted him to trim it? No! Dreams don't count. If I’m bald, I’m bald. I don’t go to barbershops. It really doesn’t matter a hoot if I “feel” I have a head full of hair. Feelings don't count. I have an all too observable chrome dome. Common sense dictates such. Reason prevails.

     It’s fascinating how in this most scientific age, which usually demands observable data, that suddenly feelings are legitimatized as acceptable in determining pseudo facts. Science usually scoffs at such an approach. Yet, presently, much of intelligentsia is going the “feelings” route and is in the vanguard of influencing society about the current issue of sexual identity. So many are saying, “If I feel I’m a woman I must be!” Oh, really? How about if I feel I’m a giraffe, does it follow that I may very well be one? No, facts dictate otherwise. I could say: When I drive into a garage and I feel like a car. Does this make me one? No, I look myself over and determine I’m still a human being. I may have just driven the car for a long five hour trip and really am identifying with that automobile, but, I’m not really  the car nor even turning into one. Common sense and pinching my skin tell me so. 

     The Bible tells us God made humans “male” and “female.” Genesis 1:27 succinctly says, “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” That’s it! A human is one or the other, either a male or a female. All anyone needs to do is look down his or her pants, see what’s there, and conclude quickly I’m either a boy or a girl, a man or a woman. The genitalia accurately bespeak the undeniable facts. A comic strip pictures a new born baby, just out of the oven, and, of course, the mother inquisitively asks, "What is it?" The medical team replies, "We'll have to wait until it grows up and it will tell us." 

     Now, while stating this matter-of-factly, we must nevertheless factor in the ravages of sin. Sin made its entrance into the human race in Adam and Eve’s time. It messed everything up! Yes, our genes were affected! We are all born sinners and all kinds of physical “stuff” is now whacko. And this is true, not only physically but psychologically as well. The mind, soul and emotions are often terribly warped, not only because of transmitted sin but also our repeated and wrong behavior intensifies the problem as well. For instance, the libido of males may well range all the way from a rough, bearded, well ripped macho guy across the spectrum of maleness to a feminine, soft-voiced, girly type walking as if on eggs and speaking with a high-pitched voice. But, both types are males. Each has his or her own struggles coping with what they are. The macho guy has to contain himself from being too aggressive with the opposite sex while the delicate male often must almost force himself to take an interest. We could go much further talking about all the complications and implications of being too much male or too little. The same applies to the feminine gender.

       So much of today's thinking leads to the current issue of gender identification and other matters such as homosexuality. What I’m trying to say is, we are all out of kilter. Sin has done a rough job on us. Babies are born imperfect, both physically and disposition-wise. We see a poorly placed birthmark and may well flinch. We observe early crankiness, stubbornness and a host of other abhorrent behavioral traits.  And then, as the child grows we sadly learn of poor eyesight, hearing impairment and whatever else repugnantly surfaces. Doctors inform us we have this malady or that because our genes have so dictated. We are subject to this ailment or that. And so we inherit and are predisposed to many such aberrations. Science identifies bad genes and informs us about them.   

         Of all people the Christian should not shocked. Knowing His Bible he easily attributes these troubling things to the scientific findings, but, also to this matter of sin impregnating all human flesh. "Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned” (Romans 5:12). Do not the Bible and experience clearly inform us we are all whacked in different ways and degrees from the get-go.

     What I’m trying to say is this: When a person feels like he or she is the opposite sex, feelings don’t determine this. Biology does. Every one of us is either a male or a female. However, being whacked, our libidos may be troublesome. As a male I may well have too much testosterone and be overly-aggressive. Or, too little of this determining hormone and be rather disinterested sexually with the opposite sex.

     We are all affected by sin in many, many ways. Therefore, we struggle with wayward and evil feelings. We cannot, however, let feelings be our guide. Truth and decency must prevail. Extreme tendencies, whether physically, mentally or emotionally, must be reigned in. The process may well prove seemingly and interminably difficult. Only the grace of God, much prayer and holy determination will do. But, Christians can do all things through Christ who strengthens them. During such a protracted process do I try to adjust the law to fit my whacked and off center feelings? Do I attempt to change the mores of an entire society to better accept me? Do I want everyone to redefine good and evil to better fit my perceived needs? Do I want an entire nation to change its bathroom codes just for me or for a very tiny segment of society? 

     Christians, committed as they are to the authority of Scripture, open God’s Word and let Him instruct us as to what He determined long ago. God says we are either male or female. If I’m affected by sin in such a way that I struggle constantly with my sexuality, I cannot change what biology dictates, what adverse effects sin has on me or what God originally determined. If I feel more prone to my sex than the opposite, I must engage in some painful reordering of my thoughts, attune them to what God says (Romans 1:26,27), and, by God's grace draw upon His promises and the strength He gives in order to practice my sexuality according to what He has ordained.

     This can be very, very difficult, but God delights in and is most generous to those who want to live life according to His all-wise directives. He says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). After all, it took horrible pain and agony on a cruel cross for His Son Jesus to procure salvation for us sinners. The Apostle Peter challenges us with these words,"Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God” (1 Peter 4:1-2). So, where I am disadvantaged and happen to struggle terribly with my sexuality, the best response is to start with God, determine His mind on any given subject, and proceed to please Him and make decisions according to His will. And, while additionally taking any advantage I can of the wise and proven medical advancements of our times, I may well learn that my negatively affected male or female libido may to some degree normalize. God wants me to be in tune with His order of human sexuality. For the Christian this procedure applies to many areas of life. But He, our great and understanding God, is a very present help in trouble. “Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him” (Psalms 103:13). 
  
    So, I conclude, it isn’t a matter of gender identity, it’s rather gender fact that determines my place in society let alone my place in a bathroom.

-       Dr. Dick Christen